All posts by CJ Embers

CJ Embers is a Canadian fantasy author of three published novels, with many more on the way.

The Other Shoe

“Follow my lead,
I’ll tell you what to do.
You’re not a burden;
I’m the same as you.”

You make me feel heard;
Comfortable and safe.
Is this what it’s like,
To finally have faith?

“Come to me,
And rest under my wing.
You are safe here;
Let Sanctuary’s bell ring.”

Pain does not exist here,
And I’ve learned to trust you.
My doubts are now gone;
It’s not too good to be true.

“Why do you act like this?
Don’t you know this is wrong?
You are far too much,
And you just don’t belong.”

But what you said…
I don’t understand.
Was it all a lie?
Why are you showing this hand?

“This is how it’s always been.
You should be ashamed.
This is your doing,
Because you are always to be blamed.”

I should have known.
Paradise was a lie,
Just as it always is.
Another to whom I say goodbye.

“Follow my lead,
But I will fault you.
You’ll be a burden,
When I drop the other shoe.”

Written by: CJ Embers

Disposable

I try and I try, yet it all turns black.
Every time, I know it like it’s fact.
It burns like fire against my heart,
Shattering like dust, every single part.

“I promise,” it was said.
Just put a gun to my head instead.
It’s kinder than every lie,
And maybe then I can finally die.

Why does this feel so impossible?
It makes the darkness unstoppable.
Is this really my destiny?
Because I’m fighting for every breath in me.

This is how it will always be
Surely who is to blame but me?
I am spiraling. My life, uncontrollable.
Because all I’ve ever been… is completely disposable.

Written by: CJ Embers

The Reason

“Everything happens for a reason”,
Or so I’ve been told.
But maybe this world has long since been abandoned,
Because it has always felt cold.

What is reprieve from this void,
Except for a glaring lie?
Luring me like a siren,
Only to leave me to die.

Promises are never promises,
Only vows that are never kept.
Hope is but a burden;
A slow death as the sunlight still wept.

One by one they all do the same,
And I know it will remain that way.
This is why the choice has been made,
And I will try not to sway.

“Everything happens for a reason”,
Or so I used to believe.
But maybe there is no one else holding the knife,
And I just used to be naive.

Written by: CJ Embers

Stronger

Every day is a battle
That only I can see
‘Normal’ makes my heart rattle
And smothers the real me

Existence often becomes a question of why
For who would want to live like this
Maybe it would be easier to say goodbye
Instead of living with this deadly kiss

Put on a mask
Don’t let them know
Lest they ask
And become a foe

Fear begets fear
Yet the silence is so loud
Everything is unclear
And I am never proud

Then came the bomb
When everything was broken
Yet my mind remained calm
Like courage quietly spoken

Will it shatter with one wrong move
Or have I actually begun to improve
Am I simply a coward who’s teetering on the brink
Or is it possible I am stronger than I think?

Written by: CJ Embers

Unfortunate News

Hey nerds! I’ve got bad news.

Unfortunately, I will be halting publications for the foreseeable future.

This is absolutely not by choice and I’m very sorry to anyone who was looking forward to the rest of the Ascension series this year as well as the continuation of the Emergent series next year.

I’m not going to air all my dirty laundry, but long story short, my life is starting pretty much one hundred percent over. Therefore any money I have* will be going towards attempting to get my life together again.

I’m hoping things will stabilize in a year, two at the most, but I can’t say for sure so I’m not making any promises.

*My BMAC will still be an option for those who may be interested in supporting my books. Anything given through there will still 100% stay as cover money.

So, here’s to wading through a steaming pile o’ shit and hopefully coming out the other side stronger for it. Or even just still alive would be good lol.

I’ll post an update when things have returned to normal!

❤️

The Ascension Vigil – Available Now!

I was wrong. The remnant wasn’t gone. It had only been in hiding, and now, everything I bled for is at risk.

With the consequences of Kena’s actions laid bare before her and the truth of her attempt at the Trial haunting her, she struggles to continue leading Karua. As the shadows of her recent past threatens to corrupt her once more, she must learn how to coexist with the memories of her god and his soul-shattering absence. Continue reading The Ascension Vigil – Available Now!

How the Third Edition of Dragons’ Myth is Different

The new edition of Dragons’ Myth is officially published (paperback. EBook coming July 1st), and that means I can explain the changes. This will have spoilers, so only read if you have read the previous edition or when you’ve finished the new edition. Or if you’re a weirdo who likes spoilers, you do you. Continue reading How the Third Edition of Dragons’ Myth is Different

My First Amazon Review!

I’ve been writing actively for three -ish years (although I published my debut way back in 2012), and honestly… I constantly had doubts. Constantly. With sales being basically non-existent, zero reviews, and having no social circle to help get the word out about my books, there was always a nagging thought in my head that I’m just a bad writer.

Well, I’m beyond excited to announce that yesterday, I noticed my very first review on Amazon! Continue reading My First Amazon Review!

My Struggles as an Indie Author

Anyone who’s done a smidgen of research on the differences between self-publishing and traditional publishing would know that self-publishing takes a lot more effort. That’s not to say the traditional way doesn’t take effort, but once you get a publisher, it’s pretty much smooth sailing from there. There’s a whole team working for you, and you don’t really have to worry about marketing.

Self-publishing on the other hand Continue reading My Struggles as an Indie Author